7 Common Mental Health Struggles that Affect Divorced Men

Divorce doesn't just end a marriage; it can trigger a complex journey of emotional upheaval for men.

In this post, we’re going to take a look at, and normalize, some common mental health issues men face in the wake of a divorce.

7 Common Mental Health Struggles that Affect Divorced Men:

1. Increased Risk of Depression

Divorce can lead to feelings of sadness and hopelessness in men.

Here are some common symptoms of depression:

Loss of interest in things that you used to enjoy and find pleasurable
Low energy and feelings of fatigue
Changes in appetite
Rapid changes in weight
Feeling bad about yourself
Sometimes men even have feelings that they would be better off dead or others would be better off without them. If you feel this way - you need to seek mental health help immediately. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it just means you need to get the help you need to feel better.

2. Increased Risk of Anxiety

Major life transition and a new increased uncertainty in your life can lead to increased risk of anxiety. Things that may have been stable and taken for granted for years are suddenly up in the air: finances, living situations, childcare, etc.

Standard signs of anxiety include:

Increased worrying about all kinds of things
Feeling nervous, keyed up and on edge
Difficulty relaxing
Restlessness
Increased irritability
Feeling as if something awful might happen.

3. Self-Esteem and Self-Worth Issues

Divorce can wreck men’s self-image and self-worth. Cultural, religious and familial beliefs surrounding divorce can impact and compound your own changes to your self-image.

Oftentimes divorce can challenge the internal beliefs that men carry about who they are. Beliefs like:

I’m a good husband or partner
I can make anything work or succeed
I maintain long-term commitments and relationships
I am a desirable partner
I can trust myself in relationships

Suddenly these once unquestionable beliefs feel very questionable, and you may need help to come to a new, updated understanding of who you are.

4. Feelings of Loss and Grief

Loss, grief, and mourning the change of such an incredibly significant relationship in your life is incredibly common and normal. Many men struggle with knowing how to create space inside them in order to mourn the relationship in a healthy way, and may not have developed the emotional tools at previous points in their life in order to do that.

Many men have made it through life up to this point by just pushing their emotions down and keeping moving…but suddenly you find that the intensity of the emotions stirred up during divorce makes it difficult to suppress your emotions in a way you were once able to.

5. Increased Anger

Anger, rage, hostility, resentment, conflict, and feelings of betrayal are common.

Oftentimes anger is the first emotion that men experience during the divorce process. On the surface this seems like a negative thing, but often, anger serves an important adaptive and protective function: it keeps your intense grief that lies just under the surface from coming out at a time when it would be too overwhelming to experience early in the divorce process.

Just a reminder that anger, like all emotions, is healthy, but of course, not all actions that we take because of anger are healthy or helpful to us.

6. Isolation and Loneliness

Divorce can disrupt social connections and support networks, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Men may struggle to rebuild their social lives and find themselves lacking the emotional support they once had.

It’s incredibly important to reach out and reconnect with any supports that you have. Call those guys from high school or college that you may not have spoken to for years. You would probably want them to reconnect with you in a difficult moment in their life, right? Similarly, they likely would be supportive if you reach out to them.

7. Increased Parental Stress

Fathers often experience increased stress during and after a divorce. Concerns about child custody, co-parenting arrangements, and maintaining a strong relationship with your children can contribute to mental health challenges.

Next Steps…

The experience of divorce can be an intense and destabilizing experience for men to go through. It can challenge your internal beliefs and leave you grappling with intense emotions. It's crucial to acknowledge the impact it can have on men's mental well-being and seeking support. Each individual's journey is unique, having the right tools to navigate overwhelming emotions can really make a significant difference.

I invite you to download the free video resource I’ve created, "The 5 Coping Skills Every Man Needs to Know." In this video, I share the top strategies that counselors commonly use to help you manage intense emotions you may be experiencing. These coping skills can provide a lifeline in those moments when you feel overwhelmed.

You are going through something significant right now. It makes sense that you would be struggling, or experience intense emotions. But…you don't have to face this alone.

Too many men feel like they have to face this journey on their own, and struggle in silence. That doesn’t have to be you.

Together, we can navigate the complexities of divorce, reclaim our mental health, and help you emerge from this process with a new sense of understanding, and peace.

Wishing you the best on your mental health journey.