5 Myths and Misconceptions About Men’s Mental Health
Remember Don Draper from Mad Men? HIs impeccable suits, suave demeanor, and seemingly unshakeable confidence has become an icon of the idealized image that men are taught to replicate. A strong, stoic figure suppressing their emotions, bottling up anxiety or anger until, of course, it reaches a breaking point.
The truth is, all was not well inside Don Draper, and all is not well inside a lot of men.
In today's society, conversations surrounding mental health have gained momentum, shedding light on an issue that affects individuals of all genders.
When it comes to men and mental health, pervasive myths and misconceptions often prevail, acting as formidable barriers to seeking help and support.
It's time to break the silence and challenge these long-held beliefs. In this post, we’ll look at 5 Myths and Misconceptions about Men and Mental Health.
Myth 1 - Emotions Are a Sign of Weakness in Men
By perpetuating the myth that emotions are a sign of weakness, society places an unnecessary burden on men, limiting their ability to fully express themselves and seek the support they may need. It creates an environment that discourages emotional connection, empathy, and authentic self-expression.
In reality, emotions are a fundamental aspect of being human. They are not exclusive to any gender and do not indicate weakness. Emotions serve as important signals that inform us about our needs, desires, and experiences. Suppressing or denying emotions can have detrimental effects on mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.
When we deny our emotions and believe they’re not there, it doesn’t actually mean we don’t have emotions…the emotions are still there underneath the surface affecting us in ways that we’re not aware of and in ways that you don’t understand.
Myth 2 - Seeking help is a sign of failure and an inability to handle one's problems.
No one really knows where the phrase “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” really came from. It rose to prominence in the 19th century in America, and it's safe to say that the phrase is still very much alive in the psyche of men.
At its best, the phrase of course nods towards personal empowerment, taking responsibility, and individual initiative. And those are all great qualities for a person to embody. But the shadow-side of the phrase is the way it can be used to criticize men for not being able to solve their own problems without any family, friend, peer or community support.
The reality is, of course, that we are social, communal beings. We need and rely on others to help us in all kinds of ways.
Humans are not biologically wired to make it on our own.
Mental health issues, such as anxiety or anger, may require professional support and resources beyond one's individual efforts. That doesn’t make a person week, it makes them human. And it is completely okay to be a human.
Seeking help is a sign of strength and self-awareness. It takes courage to recognize when additional support is needed, and reaching out is a crucial step towards well-being.
Myth 3 Mental health conditions are uncommon in Men
When I talk to my parents’ generation, there is definitely the deep-seeded belief that someone who sees a counselor is someone who your family should be ashamed of. My parents didn’t grow up with access and prevalence of mental health professionals even if they wanted to see one, so, it wasn’t really much of an option. Furthermore, their own parents had just fought in World War II and were basically taught to keep their head down and keep going for the good of their country.
When my parents think of a man who would see a mental health counselor, they think of someone who needs to be institutionalized in a state mental hospital for 6 months to a year and given electro-shock therapy like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
And the truth is, that stigma that my parents, and their parents grew up with, has been passed down to Gen X, Millennial, and Gen Z men as well. It’s not as prominent, but it’s definitely still there.
But here’s the reality: mental health conditions are more common than people realize.
According to research, one in five adults experiences a mental health condition in any given year, and almost half of people in the United States will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime.
Struggling with mental health issues like anger, anxiety, and self-criticism are not rare or uncommon. In every gathering of people of any significant size there are men struggling. That’s the truth.
Myth 4 - Only "crazy" or "unstable" men have mental health issues.
Again - the myth passed down to me from my parents was that only “crazy”, “unstable” people had mental health issues. Unkempt men who smelled bad and yelled at people on the subway in New York. “Those people” had mental health issues, but not “normal people.”
The reality though is that mental health conditions are not indicative of a person's overall character or stability. They can affect individuals from all walks of life, regardless of their background or achievements.
Here are men who have mental health struggles who you may not commonly think of:
Executives, CEOs, and “powerful” politicians
Actors, celebrities, and influencers
Pastors, counselors, gurus, and wellness coaches
Men in long-term committed relationships with or without children
There’s not any income level, race, religion, or occupation of men that are spared from the struggles of mental health in our country.
Myth 5 - If Men don’t talk about their mental health issues, they will just go away.
Even as I write this, I have to admit that I am guilty of this kind of thinking in terms of my own physical health. I will notice something ‘weird’ going on with my body for a long time before I go see a doctor. My wife will tell me, repeatedly, for months that I need to just go have it looked at.
Every time I tell her it will just go away on its own. And…it never does. The problem slowly grows, until I’m in so much pain and discomfort that I can no longer delude myself into thinking it’s going to go away.
This is the same kind of thinking that too many have about their own mental health struggles.
The reality is that open dialogue and conversations about your mental health are the way you can begin to move forward in your life.
Dismantling the Myths
The above myths and misconceptions are harmful to men, and simply outdated.
We can work towards creating a culture that embraces true emotional health and supports the mental well-being of men. It is time to redefine masculinity and celebrate the strength in vulnerability.
But it doesn't stop there.
Breaking these myths takes action. And here’s an action for you:
If you find yourself struggling to cope with anger, anxiety, or other overwhelming emotions, I invite you to watch my free video, The 5 Coping Skills Every Man Needs to Know. In this video, you'll discover practical strategies to develop emotional resilience and enhance your overall well-being:
Acknowledging and expressing emotions is a sign of strength, not weakness. Let us challenge societal norms, embrace our emotions, and create a culture of empathy and support. Together, we can empower men to live authentically, connect deeply, and lead fulfilling lives.
