Embracing Emotional Liberation: A Guide for Men's Mental Well-being

The world watched on in horror a month ago, as the Kakhovka Dam in Ukraine was breached during the war.

After an explosion at the dam, likely at the hands of the Russian military, water poured through the structure. The results were immediate and severe:

• 58 people confirmed dead

• 31 more missing

• 230 square miles underwater

• Tens of thousands evacuated

The dam, built back in 1956, had held back water for nearly 70 years…but the pressure of the water and an explosion at the center of the dam proved to be too much to continue to hold the water back.

As a male mental health counselor that works with men in Greensboro and Winston-Salem, North Carolina, I can tell you that many men treat their emotions like the Kakhova Dam - they believe if they can push-down, suppress, and hold back their emotions from themselves and the world, like holding back water in a dam, then everything will be okay.

But the more men push-down their emotions behind their own ‘dam’, the more the pressure builds. Eventually…the pressure is too much…and the dam breaks. When that happens:

• Men explode in uncontrollable rage.

• Men collapse in depression.

• Men experience panic attacks and intense anxiety.

• Men begin having serious suicidal thoughts or even attempt suicide.

• Men struggle with substance-abuse issues.

What SHOULD Men Do With Their Emotions?

Daily life involves the accumulation of stress and emotions. Our bodies, as wonderful and effective as they are, just register stress as stress.  Our bodies can’t tell the difference between a tiger in the jungle our ancestors had to run from - and just that jerk in human resources that gets under your skin…our body registers both as stress.

One of the easiest mental health things we can do for ourselves is to do all that basic self-care stuff that everyone “knows about” but many of us struggle to prioritize:

• Regular movement and exercise

• Mindful dietary choices

• Good sleep habits

• Healthy relationship to social media

• Time with supportive friends and community
  

All of those things really do help the emotional pressure that is building up behind the dam inside of us get released regularly so it doesn’t all build up.

But - there’s more…

At some point, instead of putting up dams to try to keep more distance between yourself and your emotions, mental health care involves actually getting closer to those emotions in ways that won’t overwhelm you.

Your anger, sadness, anxiety, etc., are trying to get your attention and trying to tell you something important.

When we are able to listen to those emotions and parts of ourselves, they will eventually release the emotional energy that they are holding onto.

This is what counselors are so good at doing.  Counselors can help you listen to, understand, and release the emotions that you’ve been holding on to and pushing down for years…causing all that pressure behind your dam.

Furthermore, counselors can help you learn to express yourself in more helpful ways in the future, so that the emotional build up doesn’t happen in the first place.

The end result is that instead of our internal mental world being like the Kakhovka Dam, with 70 years of pressure just waiting for something to set it off…our mental world can be like a free-flowing stream in the woods: 

• emotions come and go freely

• the emotionally energy doesn’t build up

• emotions are able to pass through us in a healthy way.

In the end,, the tragic breach of the Kakhovka Dam serves as a poignant metaphor for the way many men grapple with their emotions. Just as the dam's destruction unleashed devastating consequences, suppressing emotions can lead to a destructive inner and outer turmoil for men. 

Just as counselors aid in understanding and releasing the pent-up emotions, they also empower individuals to express themselves more skillfully, preventing emotional buildup. The transformation from an internal dam ready to burst to a gentle flowing stream symbolizes a profound change in mental well-being. Emotions flow freely, energy dissipates, and emotional experiences pass through harmoniously.

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Wishing you the best on your mental health journey.

Hi, I’m Travis.

My clients describe me as calm, compassionate, and curious…

You have these qualities inside you at your core too. You just need a little help uncovering them.

If you’re dominated by anger, anxiety, shame, or self-criticism, we can help you re-connect with who you really are: confident, calm, courageous, compassionate, and connected to yourself and others.

Travis Jeffords - LCMHCA MDiv. | Male Counselor

In-person counselor: Greensboro & Winston-Salem

Virtual counselor: North Carolina

Licensed Counselor

Please note: The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional counseling or therapy. The content presented here is based on my professional knowledge, personal experiences and research, but it should not be considered as a replacement for individualized mental health advice.

Every individual is unique, and the content provided may not be applicable to everyone's specific circumstances. It is important to consult with a licensed mental health professional regarding your specific concerns and to receive personalized guidance tailored to your needs.