How Do I Do Therapy ‘Right’?
Often if someone has not been to counseling before (or even if they have), they may wonder what exactly is about to happen in therapy…and how they’re supposed to do it “right”.
And that totally makes sense.
We have so many confusing images of what happens in the space of a therapy session.
Maybe you’ve seen some of the following images in media:
You lay down on a couch staring at the ceiling
You sort of free-associating and just sharing whatever randomly pops in your head about your mother
A disinterested therapist facing the wall instead of acknowledging you.
The therapist scribbling down notes (or perhaps doodling?) on a notepad
There was a time when therapy looked a lot like that…but thankfully…things have changed.
Here’s what it looks like in my office:
I do have a couch, but no one has ever laid down on it (although you’re certainly welcome to try if you’d like).
I do take notes, but on a laptop, and generally only a few moments in the session - not the whole time (except the intake session)
I am genuinely interested in what’s happening inside you and in your life.
That’s what it looks like…But…what does it look like to do therapy “right”?...
It just looks like you being you.
It’s all welcome, and it’s all part of the process:
🗣️ If you talk rapidly, in circles, and non-stop without taking a breath all session:
That’s totally okay. It’s where you’re at today, what part of you is needing today, and it’s all part of the process.
😥 If you spend the whole session crying and we’re unable to talk at all:
That’s totally okay. It’s where you’re at today, what part of you is needing today, and it’s all part of the process.
🧐 If you spend the session questioning my credentials and the validity of therapy or Internal Family Systems:
That’s totally okay. It’s where you’re at today, what part of you is needing today, and it’s all part of the process.
😇 If you spend the session making small talk about the weather and sports despite the significant pain in your life:
That’s totally okay. It’s where you’re at today, what part of you is needing today, and it’s all part of the process.
😡 If you spend the session blaming everyone else for your problems, telling me how they are the problem and you are a blameless unfortunate victim:
That’s totally okay. It’s where you’re at today, what part of you is needing today, and it’s all part of the process.
Really. Your job is just to be you.
Together, over time, hopefully you and your counselor will engage in deeper exploration, awareness, compassion, and calm that you discover together…but it all starts and ends with you just being you, and happens at the pace that all of you is ready for.
Wishing you the best on your mental health journey.
Hi, I’m Travis.
My clients describe me as calm, compassionate, and curious…
You have these qualities inside you at your core too. You just need a little help uncovering them.
If you’re dominated by anger, anxiety, shame, or self-criticism, we can help you re-connect with who you really are: confident, calm, courageous, compassionate, and connected to yourself and others.
Travis Jeffords - LCMHCA MDiv. | Male Counselor
In-person counselor: Greensboro & Winston-Salem
Virtual counselor: North Carolina
Licensed Counselor
Please note: The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional counseling or therapy. The content presented here is based on my professional knowledge, personal experiences and research, but it should not be considered as a replacement for individualized mental health advice.
Every individual is unique, and the content provided may not be applicable to everyone's specific circumstances. It is important to consult with a licensed mental health professional regarding your specific concerns and to receive personalized guidance tailored to your needs.