9 Anxiety Red Flags For Every Man to Be Aware Of
It's all too easy for men to dismiss their inner struggles and soldier on, believing that we must project an image of strength and resilience. However, deep down, unresolved anxiety can silently chip away at our well-being, wreaking havoc on our mental and emotional state. For men, societal expectations often compound these challenges, making it even harder to acknowledge and address the signs of anxiety.
But here’s the deal - it can be tough to address your anxiety if you don’t even know that you’re anxious!
In this post, I’m going to share with you anxiety red flags. These are signs that you may have anxiety, and should consider reaching out to someone for a more formal consultation or diagnosis.
These red flags are not just click bait or internet trash - these are some of the actual symptoms that are used by mental health counselors and professionals to assess the presence of anxiety in men, taken from the DSM-5 and GAD-7:
9 Anxiety Red Flags For Every Man to Be Aware Of
Excessive Anxiety or Worry
Everyone worries and feels anxiety from time to time. It’s a normal, healthy part of human life. Everyone gets nervous and feels butterflies in their stomach before a big test, or before a first date…that’s part of being a human in the world.
But for lots of men the anxiety and worry are on a whole different level. It’s ‘excessive.’ Classic counselor questions to determine whether anxiety or worry qualifies as excessive can focus on a few factors like:
How often do you feel anxious?
How intense is it when you feel anxious?
How long does it happen?
The more often, more intense, and longer your anxiety and worry last, the more likely it is to be a sign that your anxiety is moving towards that ‘excessive’ range.
Difficulty Controlling Your Worry
What do you do when you find yourself becoming anxious? Some people take a few deep breaths or say a short mantra to themselves ‘it’ll all be okay,’ and then they go on with the rest of the day.
For other men, their anxiety can feel much more difficult to be with, and feel like it overwhelms them. Again, just like the last red flag, it can last longer with higher intensity and be difficult to move through. Sometimes for men it feels like nothing they try to do helps:
You try watching a video but your mind just goes blank and you can’t concentrate on it.
You try to meditate or be mindful, but anxious, unpleasant images start flooding your mind.
You try taking a cold shower, but you don’t get the amount of relief that you’re hoping for.
Worrying About Different Things
Sometimes people are excessively worried about a single thing:
an upcoming performance evaluation at work.
or
a struggling marriage that feels headed for divorce.
But then other times people seem to worry about all kinds of things all the time. For these men it feels like their worry is a game of whack-a-mole (remember that?) - as soon as one worry goes away another one pops up in its place.
For these men they can find themselves worrying about many different things in the span of a few hours. Things like:
What’s going to happen in the future with fossil fuels?
My partner didn’t call me back - are they mad at me?
What would I do if they were mad at me and broke up with me?
Is there enough air in my tires to make it to work, and what if a tire explodes on the way in to work?
I felt soreness in my arm when I woke up - is that a sign that something is happening in my body that I didn’t know about?
So, rather than worrying about just one thing - the worry is fairly constant and around all kinds of different things. I had a friend that once said, “if there’s a reason to panic, I will…if there’s not, I’ll find one”.
Trouble Relaxing / Feeling Restless, Keyed Up, or On Edge
I have an anxious relative who once said, “I don’t know how people are able to take naps…I’ve just never been able to do that.” The truth is, they’ve basically been on edge for as long as I’ve known them.
For some people the way they manage their anxiety is through constant motion, action, work, exercise, etc.. It’s like they think, “if I can constantly keep moving, I can stay one step ahead of my anxiety.”
Figuring out if you have trouble relaxing can actually be a difficult thing to recognize in yourself. You may think you’re just super productive! You might try either of the following to help shed some light on whether you have trouble relaxing and are on edge:
Ask a close friend or relative if they think you have trouble relaxing and are restless.
Try to sit still and relax for 20 minutes and see what happens. Don’t turn on a show, don’t read a book, don’t open your phone…just…sit…notice how it feels.
Difficulty Sitting Still
This is similar to exactly what I just posted. Give sitting still a shot…if it’s a struggle, that’s something for you to take notice of.
I remember once when I had a break in the middle of the day of seeing clients. Usually, I would take that time to start writing emails, or blog posts, etc., but I thought, maybe I’ll just take 30 minutes to do nothing and check in with my body.
After a few minutes I realized, ‘oh, I’m actually pretty anxious right now!’ All that activity and motion had distracted me from the fact that beneath it were some feelings I was trying not to feel!
Difficulty Concentrating on Things / Mind Going Blank
Do you read something for class or fun, only to realize you’ve read 3 pages and have no clue what you just read?
Does your teacher or professor or boss say something in a meeting, and you realize you just have no clue what is happening because you can’t follow them?
Do you watch a movie or show and realize that you don’t know what’s going on because you’re stuck in your own head thinking about something else?
Irritability / Anger
This is a surprising one for people, but it’s true! Most men are socialized to believe that anger is the only emotion they’re allowed to express. Oftentimes when working with men with anger, we quickly discover the reason they’re so angry and irritable is because they have quite a bit of anxiety they’re struggling to know how to handle.
Blowing up at people keeps the focus on others and what they should be doing differently…but it turns out, it’s not about other people, it’s about your own anxiety that has been unacknowledged.
Muscle Tension
Anxiety shows up in your body too, not just your mind. Muscle tension is a classic symptom of anxiety.
Difficulty Sleeping
Difficulty Sleeping is another common sign of anxiety (and can be a sign of depression as well).
If you want to learn some research-proven methods that can increase your ability to sleep better, I’ve got a blog article I wrote here for you:
https://www.travisjeffords.com/blog/men-anxiety-and-insomnia
One night of difficulty sleeping every now and again is a normal part of being human, but when it’s a cycle you can’t seem to break out of that is affecting your life…take notice.
Thinking Something Awful Might Happen
Going to ‘worst case scenario’…all the time…about everything…
So Should I See a Counselor?
First off - I really have no way of ethically answering that question for you having never met you or knowing what you’re going through.
So, two thoughts come to my mind about how to answer this question:
What do you know about yourself?
My wife is a firm believer in the concept of ‘mom-gut’. I used to kind of roll my eyes about it, but over the years she has just been right too many times to think it’s not a thing. She just kind of knows when kids are sick and need to see a doctor.
If there is any part of you that is reading through these red flags and that knows you should talk to someone…then that’s really important information for you to acknowledge.
2. What’s the worst that happens if you do see a mental health professional for an evaluation?
The second thing just to mention is…there are really low stakes about seeing someone for a consultation. If you talk to your doctor or a counselor about possibly having anxiety…what’s the worst that happens? Either a) you’ll discern that you don’t need counseling, in which case you lost about 20 minutes, no big deal, or b) you’ll discern you do need counseling, in which case you’ll get the help you need.
But again - you have autonomy to make the decision that feels best to you, and I don’t know you or your situation as the writer of this blog.
Next Steps…
As we conclude this exploration of anxiety red flags for men, it's essential to remember that knowledge alone is not enough. Taking proactive steps to address your anxiety and cultivate healthier coping skills is crucial for men to reclaim their mental well-being. To support you on your journey, I have a special gift:
I want to invite you to download my free resource, 'The 5 Coping Skills Every Man Needs to Know' video. In this video, you'll discover practical strategies and techniques specifically tailored for men to help manage anxiety and build resilience. These coping skills have the potential to make a profound impact on your life, equipping you with the tools to navigate the challenges that come your way.
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
I believe that every man deserves to experience a life free from the grip of anxiety, where inner calm and emotional well-being reign. By embracing these coping skills, you'll be taking a significant step towards that reality. Remember, change starts with a choice—a choice to prioritize your mental health and invest in your own well-being.
Today is the day to take that first step. Start by downloading the free video resource, 'The 5 Coping Skills Every Man Needs to Know,' and empower yourself to face anxiety head-on. You have the strength within you to create a brighter, calmer future—seize it now.
Wishing you the best on your mental health journey.
Hi, I’m Travis.
My clients describe me as calm, compassionate, and curious…
You have these qualities inside you at your core too. You just need a little help uncovering them.
If you’re dominated by anger, anxiety, shame, or self-criticism, I can help you re-connect with who you really are: confident, calm, courageous, compassionate, and connected to yourself and others.
Travis Jeffords - LCMHCA | MDiv. | Male Counselor
In-person counselor: Greensboro & Winston-Salem
Virtual counselor: North Carolina
Licensed Counselor
Please note: The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional counseling or therapy. The content presented here is based on my professional knowledge, personal experiences and research, but it should not be considered as a replacement for individualized mental health advice.
Every individual is unique, and the content provided may not be applicable to everyone's specific circumstances. It is important to consult with a licensed mental health professional regarding your specific concerns and to receive personalized guidance tailored to your needs.