5 Myths about Men and Anxiety

Anxiety doesn't discriminate based on gender, yet men often find themselves caught in a web of stigma. From the pressure to conform to societal expectations of masculinity to the fear of being labeled 'weak,' this article names and calls-out 5 myths about men and anxiety.

Myth #1: Anxiety is a sign of weakness in men.

First off - I’m not even really sure what it means to be weak so I’ll just put that out there. And I’m saying that I don’t know what it means to be weak because I’m particularly “tough” or anything like that either. It’s just that I don’t think any of those terms are very helpful, so I don’t use either of them.

Anxiety is not a sign of weakness (whatever that even means) in men. Anxiety is a universal part of being a human on planet earth. All men, all humans, experience anxiety. It’s not weakness…it just is. It’s part of being human.

Myth #2: Real men don't seek help for anxiety.

I know there’s a whole thing out there about men not seeking help. Like that trope about men not asking for directions (back when people actually had to get help with directions because they didn’t own a magical box that told them exactly how to get everywhere they needed to go).

But - the reality is men seek help all the time for all kinds of things. Men go to school - that’s getting help. If men play sports they have coaches and teammates - that’s getting help. I grew up playing music - what is being in a band except having help from others to make music?

Seriously - none of us go through a single day without relying on the help of others. Someone else grew your food, someone drove it here, someone works the cash register to sell it to you. Someone paves the road you drove on to get the food. If you participate in society then you let other people help you all the time.

Seeking help for mental health is no different than any of those things. The moral of the story is - if you accept help by driving on roads that someone else paved for you, you can accept a counselors help about anxiety.

Myth #3: Anxiety only affects sensitive or emotional men.

Anxiety is not exclusive to certain personality types. Again, anxiety is a universal part of being a human. I will say that some men are certainly more aware of their anxiety, or it affects them differently, but all men have anxiety.

This might be interesting to know - lots of men who come to counseling for anger realize once we’ve spent a little time together, that their anger is a mask for very intense anxiety. Most of these men would not usually be called “sensitive” or “emotional” because of the way their anger dominates their life, but they most definitely are anxious when you scratch the surface.

Myth #4: Men with anxiety are unfit for leadership roles.

Anxiety does not diminish a person's ability to be an effective leader. In fact, acknowledging anxiety can enhance leadership skills by promoting empathy, self-awareness, and resilience.

I have definitely worked with clients with anxiety that have high paying jobs or are in leadership roles in their company or organization.

Myth #5: Men with anxiety are incapable of having healthy relationships.

Having anxiety doesn’t prevent men from having healthy relationships. But - being unaware of your anxiety could definitely pose a challenge. Relationships thrive on open communication, empathy, understanding, the ability to recognize your own feelings and needs…and men with anxiety can do all of those things.

Next Steps…

The stigma surrounding anxiety for men is a very real challenge for men. But here’s the deal - by challenging societal expectations and becoming aware of your own internalization of negative messages about men and anxiety, we can create a world where men feel empowered to address their anxiety without shame.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. To further support your mental well-being, I invite you to download my free video 'The 5 Coping Skills All Men Need to Know'. It contains 5 practical coping skills to navigate anxiety when you start to feel overwhelmed in the moment.