The Hidden Link: Men, Anxiety, Insomnia, and the Path to Quality Sleep

Are you tired of being tired? Anxiety and insomnia taking a toll on your well-being? It's time to take charge. I’m going to reveal the tried-and-tested best practices to help with sleepless nights and restore your energy levels to new heights.

The Link Between Anxiety and Insomnia

Anxiety and insomnia are two interrelated challenges that many men, particularly millennials, face. Studies have shown that men are just as susceptible to anxiety as women, although they may be more inclined to internalize their feelings and exhibit different symptoms. The pressure to conform to societal expectations of masculinity often leads men to downplay or dismiss their anxieties, making it harder to identify and address these issues. However, untreated anxiety can have a profound impact on mental health, leading to increased stress, irritability, and a sense of being overwhelmed.

The relationship between anxiety and insomnia is a complex one, but one that I see time and time again in my clients. If a client presents with anxiety, they are probably having trouble with insomnia as well. It’s definitely the norm, and not the exception.

Anxiety can disrupt sleep patterns, making it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep throughout the night. Racing thoughts, worries, and physical restlessness often accompany anxious nights, exacerbating the problem. On the other hand, the lack of quality sleep can intensify feelings of anxiety, creating a vicious cycle that can be challenging to break.

Insomnia, characterized by difficulty initiating or maintaining sleep, affects a significant number of men. Factors such as work-related stress, financial concerns, relationship issues, and technological distractions contribute to the rising prevalence of insomnia among men. The impact of insomnia goes beyond feeling tired during the day; it can impair cognitive function, mood stability, and overall quality of life.

The Importance of Quality Sleep

Quality sleep is not a luxury; it is a vital component of overall health and well-being, particularly for men.

I know that I often see videos on social media of these famous hyper-achieving millionaires or billionaires that boast that they run on 4 hours of sleep or whatever. It gives us a warped perception that that’s something that normal people should aspire to do. It’s not. The reality is, we all need sleep to function well.

While it is often undervalued in our fast-paced society, restful sleep is crucial. As a man, ensuring you get sufficient and quality sleep is paramount for your daily functioning and long-term wellness.

Here are 3 ways sleep affects your well-being:

Concentration and Mental Clarity

A good night's sleep enhances your ability to concentrate, make sound decisions, and be productive throughout the day. Whether you're tackling work responsibilities, pursuing personal goals, or engaging in recreational activities, a well-rested mind can significantly enhance your performance and achievements.

2. Mood Regulation

In addition to mental clarity, quality sleep is closely linked to mood regulation. Sufficient rest allows your brain to process emotions effectively, reducing the likelihood of irritability, mood swings, and feelings of depression. By prioritizing sleep, you equip yourself with the emotional resilience and stability needed to navigate the challenges of daily life, ultimately leading to a greater sense of overall well-being.

3. Physical Health

Furthermore, quality sleep plays a critical role in physical health for men. Adequate sleep is associated with a reduced risk of chronic conditions, such as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. During sleep, your body undergoes essential restorative processes, including tissue repair, hormone regulation, and immune system strengthening. By consistently getting enough sleep, you empower your body to function optimally and maintain its natural balance.

Counseling for Insomnia and Anxiety

For individuals with anxiety and insomnia, there is a well-researched protocol called CBTI that has been shown, after reviewing over 30 years of experiments, to have somewhere between a small to moderate amount of effect on anxiety, but a moderate to large amount of effect on insomnia.

It really is effective at helping you sleep better.

In fact, CBTI was found to be more long-lasting in its effects and durability than traditional sleep medication. While strict CBTI is a very strict, 6-week long counseling regiment, there are some basic takeaways, tips, and tricks that can help you with your ability to fall asleep, as well as some best practices for what to do when you wake up in the middle of the night as well. First, here are some simple, basic things you can do to promote good sleep:

Best Sleep Practices

The Nighttime Routine

Sleeping well during the night actually begins hours before bed. Here are the 8 best practices for a nighttime routine that research shows leads to more sleep.

Exercise

Exercise has been shown to have positive effects on sleep.

However, it’s important to exercise at least 2 hours before bed so that your body has enough time to recover and calm down afterwards. People sometimes wonder what kind of exercise they should be doing, and I always say, whatever you enjoy doing and are more likely to actually do, is the kind that you should be doing. The time length of exercise varies from study to study, but I’ve never seen anything below 20 minutes of elevated heart rate.

So, exercise is good, but give yourself plenty of time to recover before going to sleep.

2. Eating

Being too hungry or too full can have a negative effect on sleep, but a nighttime snack like a glass of warm milk or a bowl of cereal can help.

3. Limit Caffeine 6-8 Hours Before Bed

Caffeine has been proven to have a negative effect on individuals with anxiety already, so I often recommend anxious clients consider abstaining or limiting their daily caffeine consumption.

The FDA recommends limiting caffeine consumption to below 400mg a day regardless of anxiety, which is about as much as a grande cup of coffee from Starbucks. However, even if you are using caffeine in the morning or early afternoon, you should avoid using it 6-8 hours before bed if you want to improve sleep.

I used to laugh at my mom growing up when she would tell me at 2:00 in the afternoon she couldn’t have coffee because it would keep her up all night, but it turns out she could have been right. If you’re going to sleep around 10 or 11pm, then you probably need to stop having caffeine between 2-4pm.

4. Limit Alcohol After Dinner

Alcohol is another substance that has a negative effect on individuals with anxiety, so it is usually recommended that people abstain from alcohol altogether.

While alcohol as a depressant and sedative can have a short term effect in reducing anxiety (I remember in college alcohol was referred to as ‘liquid courage’ because it would temporarily reduce anxiety, giving people the courage to approach other people they were interested in talking to but would normally be too self-conscious to).

However, once the alcohol wears off, it can change the chemicals (like serotonin) in your brain, actually leaving you feeling more anxious than before.

Alcohol may increase your ability to fall asleep initially, however, it will often result in poor, disturbed sleep.

5. Limit Nicotine Before Bed

Nicotine, as a stimulant, prevents sleep just like caffeine does.

Again, like alcohol, there may be an initial period of reduced anxiety, but after that initial period, the nicotine can prevent your body from falling asleep. It’s also not recommended to smoke to try to get yourself back to sleep if you wake up in the middle of the night.

6. Limit Screen Time An Hour Before Bed

Blue light from screens tricks your body into thinking it's daytime, and your body suppresses the amount of melatonin it releases. Additionally, if the content that we watch is stimulating, it can be difficult to wind down and relax after watching it. Consider reading a book in the evening as you get closer to your bedtime.

7. Sleeping Pills

Occasional sleeping pills can be helpful, but when they are used regularly (think 2-4 weeks) they lose their effectiveness. Trying to stop using sleeping pills can be difficult and trigger insomnia, which makes people think they depend on them. If you find yourself dependent on sleeping pills, consult your doctor.

8. Warm Bath/Shower

A warm bath or shower an hour before bed can be relaxing and helpful.

Bedroom Environment

Your bedroom environment can also make an impact in your ability to get quality sleep through the night.

Here are are 4 things to consider about the bedroom environment that can increase sleep and reduce insomnia:

Put your thermostat at a moderate temperature. Temperature extremes of hot and cold can prevent sleep.
Reduce light by using curtains or blinds
Don’t try to sleep with the tv on - quiet is best.
Do not have clocks somewhere where you can see them in the middle of the night. This is actually a big one - you don’t need to know what time it is. When most of us look at the clock we think negative thoughts like ‘if I don’t get sleep soon I’m only going to get 5 hours of sleep by tomorrow!’ Those thoughts don’t help. Set an alarm on your phone and don’t check to see what time it is until the alarm goes off in the morning.

Weighted Blankets

Weighted blankets have only gained popularity in the last 5 years or so, and if you haven’t heard of it, it’s exactly like it sounds - it’s a blanket that weighs more and provides more pressure on top of the person using it.

A recent study found that using a weighted blanket for 4 weeks reduced insomnia when compared to individuals using a regular lightweight blanket - but also it reduced anxiety, not just at night, but during the daytime as well.

This 2020 study found that after 6 weeks of use with a weighted blanket, people improved in a number of different sleep categories. While some results were negligible, 17% reported feeling more rested in the morning, and 36% felt they slept better through the night. You can find a wide variety of weighted blankets online, but the main thing is to find one with a weight that is 10% of your body weight, plus a couple pounds (so if you weigh 120 pounds, get a 14 or 15 pound blanket).

The Bed is for Sleeping

In order to help your body/brain associate the bed with sleeping, and promote sleeping in bed, it’s important not to spend time in bed if you’re not sleeping. This means that reading or relaxing before bed should be done somewhere else. If you are trying to sleep but can’t, or if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t seem to sleep, after about 20 minutes, get out of bed. You can read something calm (but not on your phone/computer) or listen to calming music. When you begin to feel tired again, you can return to bed. If muscle relaxation like the military technique seems to help, do that. If you still are tossing and turning around 20 minutes later, get back out of bed and repeat the process.

5 Coping Skills / Next Steps

The journey to better sleep and improved mental well-being is within reach for millennial men grappling with anxiety, insomnia, and the challenges of modern life. By understanding the link between anxiety and insomnia, and recognizing the importance of quality sleep, men can take proactive steps towards reclaiming their nights and embracing a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.

We’ve explored the significance of quality sleep for men's overall health, including improved focus, cognitive function, mood regulation, and improved physical health. We’ve also talked about best practices for healthy sleep supported by decades of research.

To further support you in your quest for improved sleep and decreased anxiety, I have an exclusive resource for you.

I invite you to access my free video: "The 5 Coping Skills that Every Man Needs to Know." In this video, I delve deeper into practical strategies and techniques that can empower you to manage anxiety and develop resilience in the face of life's challenges.

And in fact, the fifth coping skill in the video can specifically be used at night when you’re having trouble sleeping. Just enter your email below to access the video:

Taking charge of your sleep and mental health requires commitment and effort, but the rewards are worth it. By implementing the best practices discussed in this article and incorporating the coping skills highlighted in the free video, you can reclaim restful nights, reduce anxiety, and embrace a life filled with vitality and well-being. Now is the time to prioritize your sleep, manage anxiety effectively, and embark on a journey towards a better, more fulfilling life.

Wishing you the best on your mental health journey.